EUROVISION 2019 - MY TOP 41

Ah, March - Finally all of the stress of balancing 4 different streams on your telly, tablet, phone and just about whatever other device you can find, just so you don't miss your favourite final is over, and we finally have all 41 songs for Eurovision. As tradition states, I will now rank my top 41; and yes, I am aware that my top will be drastically different to most tops, but please no hate, I just want to share my opinions, and I invite you to do the same in the comments with constructive criticism. Lets get into it!

41) Belarus: ZENA - Like It (1.5/10)

I'm sorry, but with the culmination of what we know about the attitudes of both the composer and Zena herself, as well as the lyrical content and presentation of this, I just can't bring myself to enjoy listening to it. The lyrics are just cringy, and it is very obvious that an older man had tried to write a pop song to appeal to a younger audience, mentioning breaking rules and wearing sneakers, like every young person does. This falls in the same category as the Network Song, the only difference being that Valentina had charisma, and showed genuine enthusiasm in being a part of Eurovision.

40) Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me (1.5/10)

A crazy rebellion against the fan favourites, but oh God, there are many things that could be said about this. Just why? why is it the fan favourite? Is it because he's good looking, because this song is just as cringy as "Like It" just with better production and staging potential. It's just bad, especially the bridge and just comes across as cheesy and mainstream, but in a "Hey look at me, I'm going to jump on the Latin American music craze because I don't actually have a unique style, because I'm just here to look good" way. I'm sorry, I got carried away, I just really, really dislike this.

39) Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream (2/10)

I almost feel bad for putting such a global star so low on the list however for a performer and singer of such a high calibre of Sergey, the song just isn't up to the quality many people expected. It's almost a westernised Balkan ballad, with the dramatics, which I'm sure will be emphasised in Tel Aviv. The chorus us very weak, and contrasts the energy that the punchy chorus "You're The Only One" had. It almost reminds me a bit of a battle scene, and had brilliant production, as expected although I just 

don't think it is catchy enough.

38) Georgia : Oto Nemsadze -  სულ წინ იარე (2/10)

Despite being a great performer, and a friendly guy, the song really lets Georgia down. The verses are fairly weak, and by the time we reach the chorus, I think too much strain is put onto it, making it just...shout. I'm hoping that a killer stage, with fire, lights and smoke can perhaps save this from last place in the semis, because I'm really not sure that what we have right now will appeal to a jury or public vote.

37) Austria: PANEDA - Limits (2.5/10)

Again, a competent and charismatic performer, stuck with a weak song. This is one of those songs that you know exists, but you just can't remember anything about it; lyrics, the titles, music video, nothing. Perhaps it was another instance of overspending the previous year, and therefore doing the following year on the cheap. Regardless, I know that is capable of more, and she showed this at the London Eurovision party, which I was lucky enough to attend thss year, and reviewed righthere.

36) North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud (3/10)

I can really connect to the message of female empowerment that oozes from the song and music video, however I think that the track itself fails to keep up with the vocal abilities of Tamara. Towards the end of the track, it just needs some percussion, an extra oomph just to bring the emotion and passion to the next level. If North Macedonia want to make it back into the final, they really have a funny way of showing it...

35) Slovenia: Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl - (3/10)

Yes I know I'm going to get slaughtered for putting this so low, but I think I'm just missing something with this one. The whole package is just a bit too artsy and dull for me, and their performances just creep me out a little, and I can't tell if that's in a good way or not, if that makes sense. See? it confuses me and I don't like it, the song for me is a bit too monotone too, and just seems too low effort.

34) Moldova: Anna Odobescu - Stay (3/10)

Oh Moldova,you sent Sunstroke Project, some of the best crowd starters of the Soviet union in 2017, and one of the members is EPIC SAX GUY. The following year you sent DoReDos, coached by one of the best music producers in Russia, creating a visual spectacle, and this year, you send "Stay, till we find a way, to be together, forever". I'm disappointed to say the least, and the only that will save this from last place in the semi is a crazy stage show, and I mean 2011 crazy.

33) Armenia: Srbuk - Walking Out (3.5/10)

I do enjoy the instrumental on this one, and admittedly I may have a bitter taste in my mouth from the Madrid Eurovision party, where she suffered technical problems, before making like a diva, and walking out, not a goodbye or a thank you to the crowd, just a stern word to the sound engineers. Regardless, the fact that I'm talking about this shows my interest in the song, which is little to be found.

32) Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth (4/10)

Since Hour Of The Wolf, I have not enjoyed a single one of Azerbaijan's entries, and this is no exception. For me this song just falls flat, the verses just have no interesting peaks, and the chorus is just irritatingly high pitched and goes straight through me. The production is very enjoyable on this song, it's just the vocal techniques used that are too much for me.

31) Hungary: Joci Pápai - Az Én Apám (4/10)

I am so happy that Joci is back for another Eurovision, as he is different. He creates the music that he wants to make, and it is a story of his life. This is the same with Az Én Apám, which speaks of a wholesome relationship between father and son. My only issue with this is the "Na na na na na na na, yeah, yeah yeah". It feels out of place with the song, almost like space fill, which could have been filled with a nice, ethic instrument.

30) Israel: Kobi Marimi - Home (4/10)

Every year I say this, but I don't think Israel are wanting to host next year, although I think they have sent a strong song, shall we sayheavily influencedby the halo theme. His voice is definitely unique, but maybe a little too theatrical for the song, as he seems to over vibrato the ends of many words. Whether that's just his regular vocal style, or an over emphasis for the song, I'm just not a fan of it.

29) San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na (4/10)

Don't you just love San Marino at Eurovision? Daddy Serhat is obviously no exeption, bringing us that club disco realness, first in 2016 with "I Didn't Know" and now with "Say Na Na Na". The man just leaks with charisma, and whilst he may not be the best vocalist in the world, this isn't a song that focuses on the vocals. The trick with this one will be in the staging, which I imagine will be cheesy, but in a good way.

28) Lithuania: Jurijus - Run With The Lions (4.5/10):

We are now at the crucial point where the following songs are songs I truly enjoy, and will listen to. I think that this song is pleasant enough, but it's just technically not on the same level as the rest of the songs. The chords are a basic pop construction, and the lyrics seem lacklustre. Despite this, the vocals are probably the saving point of this, and the lyrics paint a clear picture for the on stage graphics.

27) Belgium: Eliot - Wake Up (5/10)

I really enjoy the chorus of this song, however I feel that the verses and chorus just don't fit together. The verses has some power in it, which is also built up by the over choreographed fist in the air, however once it goes back to the verses after the first chorus, it just feels like we are back at square one, and all of the energy is lost. Whether this qualifies will entirely depend on how it is staged, and the confidence of Eliot on the night.

26) Finland: Darude ft. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away (5.5/10)

If you'd told me that Darude would be at Eurovision last year, I would have laughed, and ran along with my silver suitcase, but it is now a reality. What I expected from Darude, which was a nostalgic trance banger, not short of dramatic drums and reverse cymbals, was far different from what we got, which is by no means bad, just a little more tame, and perhaps "Eurovision friendly". It only really comes to life when performed live, and may just scrape through the semi.

25) Croatia: Roko - The Dream (5.5/10)

It is sparse when staging affects your opinion of a song, but those angel wings really did make me see Roko as a bit of a joke act. Now that we have seen him perform in some of the pre parties, he seems a lot more focused and professional. Anyone can hold a long note, but it is difficult to make that same note sound melodic, as Hanna learnt in 2013 but Roko needs no lessons. Although the production sounds old, I think for Eurovision it works, and I am excited to see this on stage in Tel Aviv.

24) Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late For Love (6/10)

Ah Sweden, still showing Europe who is the king of over manufactured pop. The song is definitely a bop, it's just a shame that I have a bad taste in my mouth about John's attitude at the London Eurovision party, where he presented a "I'm good and I know it" sort of attitude. Even Sergey, a global sensation always keeps an air of grace and gratitude around him, which is something some more emerging acts should keep in mind.

23) United Kingdom: Michael Rice - Bigger Then Us (6/10)

It seems kind of medicore going from SuRie, who has been a part of the Eurovision family and fan since 2015, to someone who barely knows where Israel is. Despite what I may think of the process and result of "You Decide", It must be said that Michael has got one of, if not the strongest voice of the competition. Had the BBC of not chosen such lame and safe songs for the selection, with Michael's voice, the UK could have had a chance of a great result.

22) Germany: S!sters - Sister (6.5/10)

It was love at first sight when I first heard this song, and I think that the gorls really show the passion and friendship that they share on the stage, however the instrumentation for me is just flat, and ridiculously over compressed to create just fuzz by the time it gets to the chorus. Listening to this on speakers is just difficult due to this, and takes away from their beautiful harmonies and voices. 

21) Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna (6.5/10)

This is one of the best Balkan ballads ever seen at Eurovision. The songs instrumentation is calming, from the guitars fingerstyle rhythm, to the soft percussion, the song just sounds polished and detailed, transitioning from Serbian to English in a verse seamlessly. This has what similar song "Nebo" seemed to lack, which is a suitably powerful, yet at the same time soft voice behind it, which will hopefully project it to the finals.

20) Malta: Michela Pace - Chameleon (6.5/10)

Although it took me a while to get into this, I can now safely say there is a reason for the Maltese population to begin to taste what a win at the song contest might feel like after so long. Although the lyrics are not particularly special, the song utilises interesting instrumentation and is produced well. The verses fit well, and seem to build to a fairly unique chorus, which is nonetheless catchy, and has wide stream appeal outside of the contest.

19) Romania: Ester Peony - On A Sunday (7/10) 

Ester and her left arm sure can perform, and this song is perfect for her voice. It's dark and edgy, almost like a Latvian song, although I'm not sure about the distortion at the beginning, It makes me think that my phone is broken or something. This is a perfect song to be in 6/8, sounding almost like a waltz in hell, and the production difference from the NF version to the final studio cut has worked wonders.

18) Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love (7.5/10)

Once you get used to the unique voice Katerine has, you can really appreciate the Florence and Machine-esque qualities this song has. People had their doubts about Katerine's live vocals at Amsterdam calling despite her being sick, but she showed the haters what it was in Madrid. This however concerns me for her performances at Eurovision, as if she is ill for either the jury or televote performances, she will be penalised.

17) Cyprus: Tamta - Replay (7.5/10)

Ay-yeah-ay-yeah-ay-yeah, FUEGO! Wait, wrong song...this is embarrassing. But in all seriousness, ignoring the fact that it is a clear copy of Fuego, it is a summer banger, again very radio friendly, but without random Spanish lyrics, which to me is a success. For this reason, for me lyrically this is stronger, and no, not because I hate Spanish because I don't, I'm just not a fan of songs adding random Spanish lyrics to appeal to the mainstream audience. The song alone does this, which I think is great.

It all of a sudden became really hard, and I mean REALLY HARD to rank the following songs...

16) France: Bilal Hasseni - Roi (8/10)

It's truly amazing to see a Eurovision superfan participate in his dream, something I hope to do one day (hint hint if any members of delegations happen to be reading this). Of course a song written by Madame Monsieur is going to be great, and with Bilal being a talented performer there really is no love lost in this. Bilal teases changes to the song for the live performances which is a risky move, which hopefully won't result in this king being checkmated on the left hand side of the leader board.

15) Spain: Miki - La Venda (8/10)

La venda la cayoooooo...This is just so fun and ridiculously Spanish, and is always performed with such energy by Miki. If this doesn't have the whole crowd bouncing up and down, I don't know what will. I think it definitely has its supporters, although it can be tough to judge the true popularity of a Spanish song outside of Spain, as Spanish Eurovision fans are very passionate, and will often flood polls in order to get Spain on top. With Spanish fans being unable to vote for Miki in the final, it remains to be seen how well he will do.

14) Norway: KEiiNO - Spirit In The Sky (8.5/10)

Why can't there be worse songs, so that I can rank these guys higher? These guys truly are world class performers, with Alexandra's voice working perfect with the whole EDM vibe this song has. The whole package has a Sunstroke Project undertone to it, with the whole joiking sort of coming out of nowhere, but working well with the other vocals in the band to create an ethic, yet mainstream friendly hit.

13) The Netherlands: Duncan Lawrence - Arcade (8.5/10)

Just wow. Easily the best produced track EVER at Eurovision. The emotion in this song is heard in the first note, and is carried both through the cinematic instrumental, and the sweet, soft vocals that Duncan provides. There is a magical hush that fills the room when this song begins, a peace, much like we had with "Amar Pelos Dois". I really do hope this wins, mainly because Eurovision will be much more accessible to me in Amsterdam, but also because talent and production as high as this deserves to be recognised on an intercontinental level.

12) Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið Mun Sigra (8.5/10)

Leather? Check. Facemasks? Check. Whip? Check. If you're still reading this then no, I haven't accidently started typing up my inner thoughts as I sit here in my room typing late into the night, these are some of the props used by BDSM techno metal band Hatari, who have taken the Eurovision community by storm, with their both stylish but practical attire, blunt characteristics during interviews and bid to end capitalism. The song is just an auditorial representation of this, and really needs no more justification as to why it is where it is in my ranking.

11) Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever (8.5/10)

This is just so Lily Allen, with very minimal instrumentation, which really makes you focus on the vocals and lyrics, which are surprisingly well written and almost poetic. This is such a fun song to sing along with, almost twinged with nostalgia and happiness, and Leonora really comes across as a genuinely nice person on and off stage, striking up a good friendship with Ireland's Sarah McTernan, which is what Eurovision is all about.

10) Montenegro: D Moll - Heaven (9/10)

I can't understand all the negativity towards this song, as saying a song is dated doesn't really cut it when a 1950's jazz waltz song won in 2017. Old stuff is coming back kids, and cheesy 90's boy/girlband music is no exception. One argument I can see against this is the vocals, which are fairly lacklustre in the chorus, which could partially be due to the ol' too many cooks spoil the broth idiom. When they split up, half going to Russia, and half to Madrid, the result wasn't bad, and which kind of shows that they don't really need to be a 6 piece.

9) Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend Of A Friend (9/10)

...Of a friend of a friend ect.. Oh the memes that have been made from this. Aside from that, the song is great, it's fun, quirky, and something different, much like what they sent last year. The bass line is really cool and unique, and the drums play a pretty complex beat, which really suits the style of the song. As a performance alone Lake Malawi bring so much energy to the crowd, and I'm sure with the LEDs and lights, that can only get better. 

8) Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju Tokës (9/10)

This woman really is an icon of the 21st century, her style, her aura, her voice are just everything. When she sings, she's just not in the same room as you, she is in space, serenading aliens, whilst simultaneously introducing them to Versace, Gucci, Prada, Burberry, you name it. This song is clearly going to stick out as the strongest anthemic song , as well as being the only song not in English in the second semi final. If the public don't get behind this, the juries better, otherwise there will be problems.

7) Ireland: Sarah McTernan - 22 (9/10)

I just couldn't bring myself to rank this at number 22 just for the memes, so instead Sarah has reached an impressive 7th. The song, and the way Sarah performs it just makes you feel good inside, and whilst it's not the most technically advanced song, It still sounds polished and professional, even though it was probably recorded in a day. Will it qualify? I sure hope so, as it seems Sarah is really getting into the Eurovision spirt and enjoying herself, and I don't want it to end prematurely for her.

6) Italy: Mahmood - Soldi (9/10)

Despite it being just a liiitttllee overhyped by fans, for once most of the hype is justifiable for Sanremo newcomer Mahmood, who in recent years has taken the Italian music scene by storm. The instrumentation in this track is interesting, taking influences from Asian music, whilst also being very present with the drum beat. I feel like the crowd can really participate in this song with the clapping section in the chorus, which will look great in Tel Aviv.

5) Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm (9/10)

Ever since 2015 Stig has been itching to be on the Eurovision stage again, and whilst he succeeded in 2016, clearly that just wasn't enough for him, as in 2018, he participated in Eesti Laul as a solo artist, and this year, wrote "Storm" for Swedish (of all nationalities) singer Victor Crone. I just love this song, and I think that the melody flows really nicely throughout the song. As well as this, the graphics used at Eesti Laul were genius, and it would be great if they were able to replicate staging like this in Tel Aviv.

4) Poland: Tulia - Pali się (9.5/10)

Finally Poland sends something good! Oops, did I say that out loud? Anyway, this song is something completely different to the rest, It is modern instrumentation, with an electric guitar, bass and drums, yet the white voice singing in unison makes it mysterious and ethnic. For western Europeans, Polish can be a hard language to pronounce, however you hear everyone shrieking "Pali się, Pali się" in the chorus, because its catchy and accessible to all. Live these girls are so good, people think they're lip syncing, which they've gotten some steam for, but I'm excited for them to show the haters they really do sing that good.

3) Portugal: Conan Osiris - Telemóveis (9.5/10)

This song is truly amazing, and really strikes a chord for people who have lost someone they care about, and would do anything for just one last conversation with them. I haven't read a direct translation of the lyrics into English, and I don't want to, as I fear that doing so would take away from the way I hear this song. This is definitely the weirdest song of the year, and I think it will grab the audience's attention in both a "what the f***?" and a "this is amazing" kind of way.

2) Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity (9.5/10)

I am actually in love with this song, I want to marry it. But seriously, I'm loving this wacky side of Australia, it's just a shame that it took so long for an entry like this to come from such a talented crazy. The song is not trying to fit into one category of Eurovision song, although it isn't trying to be an outwardly crazy "joke" song. Instead, it's just jamming along to its own tune. Technically it is also one of the most difficult songs to sing. Go on, I dare you, but don't blame me when all your wine glasses shatter.

1) Latvia: Carousel - That Night (11/10)

My oh my, how to put into words how much I love and appreciate this song in the competition. Its so raw and passionate, I'm just inexplicably jealous that I didn't write this song. Only a musician can really appreciate each part that each instrument has in this, and oh god, that voice is simply to die for. The song itself transports you on a journey, with the lyrics creating imagery of floating down a river, looking blissfully at the stars in the sky, it doesn't even need staging! The national final performance was simply magic on the screen, and I just can not fathom a reason as to why this song is so disliked within the community. Love, where are you? Please get Latvia to the final!

So that's that. Of course I know my top is a bit "controversial" and different to most people's but we are all entitled to an opinion, and whether you agree, or whether you think I am mad is completely up to you. I wish everybody a happy Eurovision season, and roll on 14th of May!